


Departure

by Mega_Erofan



Category: Shin Sangokumusou | Dynasty Warriors
Genre: Broken Promises, Emotional, F/M, Family, Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Promises, Romance, Running Away, departure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 15:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3415169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mega_Erofan/pseuds/Mega_Erofan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After learning of the execution of most of the Ma family, Cao Qi is heartbroken to learn her father had broken his promise to her and, after a volatile argument with her father, decides to leave Wei. But as she prepares to leave the castle, she thinks of all the things she’ll be leaving behind and exactly how to say goodbye to the one man she wanted so much but cannot keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Departure

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: I Can't Find The Words To Say Goodbye by David Gates
> 
> Sequel to _Honor and Cherish_ and prequel to _Not My Enemy_

Cao Qi sighs under her breath as she gathers her things, packing everything she needs into the three sacks on her bed. Her clothes, her valuables, everything she thought she would need went into the bags because she was not planning on returning for anything she had forgotten.

Wei had been her home since she was an infant, being raised on the values and traditions of her father and his men. She loved her family more than anything else but her relationship with her father became strained after the conflicts with the Ma family. Cao Qi adored the Ma family and considered them close friends but when her father became greedy for land, she had to step in and talk some sense into him. She made him promise that if he were to claim the land of the Ma family, that nothing would happen to them.

Unfortunately, the promise had been broken when Cao Qi found out about the executions. She had never been more furious in her life. Her father had sent her to watch over an outpost where Wu soldiers had been spotted close by. He took advantage of her being so far away and launched an attack against the Ma family, overwhelming them and capturing all but Ma Chao. She only learned of the executions from a letter from one of the Generals, telling her what had happened. When she arrived home later that month, everyone could feel the heat of fury emitting from the young Cao as she stormed to the throne room, where she knew her father would be. No one stood in her way as she walked down the corridor and the guards outside the door did not hesitate to open the door. Everyone seemed to know what was about to unfold and it was sheer luck that no one had to draw a weapon against the daughter of their Lord.

~~

“Father!” Cao Qi bellows as she enters the throne room, sounding none too pleased as she stormed across the room to where her father sits with his bodyguard and strategist on either side of him.

“Dearest daughter, I’m glad to see you home so soon.” Cao Cao greets, his eyes closed and his arms crossed. “I thought you would be gone for another month or so.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” Cao Qi scoffs.

“And what seems to be the matter?” Cao Cao inquires. “You seem agitated.”

“You know exactly what is wrong.” Cao Qi growls. “You broke your promise.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” Cao Qi snaps, her face growing red with anger as she speaks. “Do you think I’m so daft that I wouldn’t find out what happened while I was gone?”

“I know you too well, Qi, you are my daughter after all.” Cao Cao states. “You are intelligent beyond your years and it shows more than you think, so I would never doubt your intellect.”

“Then why did send me away a week before you attacked the Ma family?”

Cao Cao freezes as he glances up at his daughter for the first time, as if realizing how serious the situation was. “How did you find out about the attack so soon?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Cao Qi growls. “I want you to tell me why you would do something like this after you promised me no harm would come to them once you got their land. You swore on your life that nothing would happen to them!”

Cao Cao sighs heavily then turns his full attention to his daughter. “Qi, you know the tides of conflict are raging around us and our family is right in the middle of it with Shu to the north and Wu to the south. If we do not show how serious we are about defending our home, then they will easily take advantage of this weakness and try to overpower us. What I did was ensure the protection of our family and home.”

“You slaughtered an entire family,” Cao Qi barks “a family that trusted us, a family that could have just as easily served us if you had only negotiated with them! What you did, _father_ , was cold-blooded murder and I won’t tolerate it!”

“You’re only mad about this because I broke a childish promise.”

Cao Qi freezes in place, the words echoing in her head for a few moments before she charges at her father. The room becomes dead silent when the warrior draws her spear then points it at the throat of her own father. “Is that what it really was to you, father?” She mutters. “Is that all you ever thought of anything I’ve said or done, just childish things that have no real meaning? Is that it?” The room is silent for a minute before Cao Qi backs away from her father then turns as she mounts her spear on her back. “Perhaps it is best you say nothing…because nothing you say will heal the wound in my heart left by your treachery.”

She bolts out of the throne room and retreats to her room, spending the next two hours quietly crying in her bed. It is only after her throat becomes hoarse and her eyes cease weeping that she decides her next course of action: to leave Wei.

~~

Cao Qi is pulled from her thoughts by her pet dog’s whining and looks up, finding the sesame Shiba Inu staring at her sadly from where he sits at the foot of her bed. She smiles sadly and scratches the pup behind his ear.

“Don’t worry, Long, I’m not leaving you behind. You’re one of my only real friends here and I’m not abandoning you that easily.” She quietly states. Long yips then hops down from the bed and trots to the door, sitting beside it and watching Cao Qi. “Just give me another minute then we’ll be off.”

Long is her most loyal companion, having been in every battle with her since she got him as a birthday present on her fifteenth birthday. He is a well-trained battle dog and will stop at nothing to ensure her safety. He has taken arrows and blunt hits for Cao Qi and still managed to climb to his feet and attack anyone that tries to hurt her. He was a strong, affectionate friend and she was not ready to leave him in the hands of her father.

She then begins thinking about everything else she will be leaving behind as she continues packing. Her family comes to mind first, of course, her brothers, sisters, and cousins. She adores her siblings more than anything else even if they did annoy each other most days. They love each other deeply and cannot imagine life without one another. Her younger cousins have been the light in her life more recently as the young Ni and Ba will soon be of age to begin fighting themselves. Ni wants badly to take after her Uncle Yuan and train in the ways of the bow and Ba wants to learn to use a sword so the two can be a warrior duo. She giggles as she imagines the two in battle, Ba chopping down one enemy after another as Ni picks them off from a distance. Considering how close the two are, Qi has no doubts that the two will make an amazing team. Her uncles and mother she will miss just as much, if not more as they helped her become the warrior she is today, and fighting them in battle will be a personal challenge more than a physical one.

Second would be her home as she was raised in Luoyang Castle most of her life alongside her siblings. She explored every corridor, knew everyone in the nearby villages by name, and had many close friends in those villages that she did not want to forget. She recalled nights of storytelling at campfires with friends in her younger years when he father still travelled to the villages, acting out glorious battles and terrifying the younger children with stories of monsters and ghouls wandering the patty fields at night. She even remembered her times spent with the Ma family, back when her father was close with Ma Teng. She remembered meeting Ma Chao for the first time, both rather young and just learning how to fight, and how the young Ma taught her how to ride horses. She chuckled when she recalled having trouble controlling her horse and had to have Chao help her learn by riding with her in the saddle. It was embarrassing for her but she learned very quickly after that. She remembered on warm days when she and her father visited the Ma family, she would go riding through the nearby fields with Chao and his brothers, racing them or playing other horseback games they could think of until they had to race home for dinner.

The final thing she thought about stung at her heart when it suddenly occurred to her-she was leaving behind the man she adored more than anything. She and Xu Huang have been together for two years now, which was surprisingly accepted by her father, and she would be leaving him behind. She would not dare ask him to join her, knowing how loyal he was to her father’s cause, and to have him follow her would put a target on both of their backs. She would not put the life of the man she adored more than her family at risk, she refused to. He put his life on the line for her plenty of times before when she first began fighting in the battlefield and she would not let him fight her father because of family issues. This was a problem she had to handle on her own and nothing the man could say would change her mind.

She closes up her bags and throws them over her shoulders then walks to the door of her bedroom. She kneels beside Long and carefully ties one of the lighter bags onto the Inu’s back then stands and looks around the room once more. This space shard many fond memories with her from days spent playing her Gaohu to nights snuggled with Long or Huang in her bed. It seems like yesterday that her father told her this would be her room after she turned ten, learning she no longer had to share a room with her older brother. Such happy memories that she will be leaving behind but she knows it is for the better. She can always make new memories wherever she found a new home, new friends even, she simply cannot stay here for her own morality. She would not serve under someone she once thought to be an honest man now turned a manipulative snake.

She swiftly and quietly exits the room with Long following behind her, briskly walking down the hall past lower ranked soldiers and servants alike who simply watch as she passes them. She slips out the front doors with Long in tow and descends the stairs leading away from the castle to the inner gates of Luoyang where the stables rest. Travelling by foot would not be best for her right now as she wanted as much distance between herself and her father as possible, so a horse was her only other option. She saddles up her personal horse, a white stallion that loyally carried her into battle and always returned home with her. Tonight, however, the two would not see Luoyang ever again as it was not their home, not anymore. Qi loads her bags onto the horse as is about to climb onto the saddle herself.

“Going somewhere, my dear?”

Qi cringes when the familiar voice calls out behind her, knowing too well who it belongs to and wishing she had left sooner to avoid this conversation. She slowly turns to find Xu Huang standing behind her, dressed in his usual battle attire, and shamefully glances away as the man approaches her.

“You were hoping to slip out unnoticed, weren’t you?” Qi simply nods, not wanting to chance a glance at the man before her lest she breakdown into tears. She is surprised by a pair of hands gently lifting her face to look at the other, tears glazing her amber eyes as the warmth from the brown pools before her break through the little defense she had. “I understand.” He sighs then gently touches his brow against Qi’s. “I suppose this was to happen eventually.”

“I’m sorry.” Qi whispers, grabbing the hands holding her face. “I just can’t stay here, not after all that has happened. It would go against everything I am to remain under father’s service.” She explains as tears begin streaming from her eyes. “You know as well as I do that they didn’t deserve what happened to them.”

“I know.” Huang murmurs. “You were very close with the Ma family, so I knew how much the news would hurt you.” He carefully lifts a hand to Qi’s face to wipe away her tears. “That’s why I felt obligated to tell you even when your father swore his Generals to secrecy until your return home. It would have gone against my own morals to lie to you, my beloved jade.”

Qi softly smiles as she lets out a quiet sigh. “And I’m happy you told me because it’s allowed me to discover that this isn’t where I belong. If my father truly thinks of me as nothing more than a child, then I cannot continue to fight in an army where my opinion means nothing more than the words of a child. I need to find my place in this war; I want to bring peace to this land once and for all. I’m just not sure where to start looking.”

“Go to Shu.” Huang states as he cups the girl’s cheek. She looks up at him in surprise. “They will be able to help you reach your goal of peace and their alliance with Wu in the next few months will help even more in the fights against us. Liu Bei will welcome you with open arms and I’m sure he and his men will help you find out where you belong. Just remain strong as you have all this time and you’ll make it out of this alive. I promise you.”

“What about you?” Qi whimpers. “I love you, Huang, from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t be able to face you in battle, not after all we’ve been through so far. And I can’t simply say goodbye because no words I can think of will ever make it sound right or will keep either or our heart from breaking.” She wraps her arms around Huang’s neck and buries her face in his shoulder as she cries softly. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you, not now.”

Huang gently embraces Qi and comforts the girl as he whispers to her. “You don’t need to say goodbye. You know I will never love another as much as I love you. I’ll wait until this war is over for you to return to me. I’ll fight to survive and live long enough to be reunited with you once more. I no longer fight for your father’s cause. I fight to be with you once the lands are at peace, to live out the dreams we have about our future, to be for you what I’ve wanted to be from the start.” He pulls away and cups Qi’s face in his hands. “I’m not saying you have to be alone during our time apart. Be with another if you must but always know that no matter what, I’ll be waiting for you to return when you’re ready.” He gently pecks her on the lips. “I promise.”

Qi nods then hugs the man again before stepping away from him. She climbs onto the stallion and, after exchanging one last look with him, takes off out of the gates with Long following behind. Huang watches from the gates as Qi bolts down the main street of the village to the outer gates, which slowly open for her and allow her to escape Luoyang with no one being any wiser about her intentions. He heavily sighs under his breath as the gates close behind her, knowing he will not see his Qi again for a long time. It may be months or even years before the two meet in battle and even longer before they may reunite. He fears he may not last that long but he was determined to keep his promise to her. No matter what it takes, he has to survive the remainder of this war for their sake.

Huang turns to retreat into the castle and notices his Lord standing at the top of the steps returning to the castle, looking out into the distance beyond the gates. He assumes he must feel guilt for causing his eldest daughter to flee from home. Cao Cao may have been a bit dishonest with Qi but his family meant more to him than anything, a quality of his that rubbed off on Qi in a major way. Now that strong love for her family has been fractured by his betrayal and only now is the situation setting in for him. He will be fighting against his daughter in the future but whether she will be spared or not depends on how the tides of war wear on him. Huang can only hope that some part of the man Qi once called her father will remain long enough to show her mercy if it comes down to it.

The last thing he wishes to do is harm the man he serves for the woman of his dreams.


End file.
